Beaten and Bruised

Beaten and bruised emotions trickle down my spine,

welling into my reality.

The feeling of cold consumes me like walking into

a first winter snow.

I wish I could find a distraction,

find some answers,

find a way out.

I long to throw away the feelings,

cast out the rock that has trailed it's way to

sit upon my heart. <3

My chest becomes constantly weighted,

breathing becoming harder,

my heart beating slower.

Everything begins to seem dark...

my world slowly crumbling to a

sudden and abrupt halt.

My vision becomes blurred,

clouded by thoughts of pain,

thoughts of my longings,

thoughts of death.

I lose myself to heavy, pulsing waves

of sea-green emotion.

My self control becomes drowned

in a pool of gray...

No longer able to surface for air.

Reality begins to seem warped,

and fear takes over my actions.

I push through the deep green sea,

swimming,

searching for a fragment of myself.

I find nothing.

I have lost myself again.

"How can I go forward when I don't even know which direction I am facing? "

-John Lennon